Friday, January 1, 2016

Going Places: Women Only.

When nature calls, your COG reporters step behind the closest tree, bush, boulder or serac … in town, absent a nearby WC, we’ll stroll between parked cars for a moment. We’re discrete, if not genteel.

Or female COG reporters, on the other hand, bridle at this behavior. When they call out, “boys are so lucky,” they’re not amused.  You can guess why.

“Standing up would be so much simpler,” our main COG gal opines. Often.

Now COG’s Patricia Crawford has taken biological “advantage” … ahem … head on. A gal with super leg-strength, Patricia’s able as any fellow taking a “natural break” outdoors; Or in Left Bank Parisian toilets with only footpads for support. But she’s been “PO”ed about this for years.

Enter GoGirl, sent along by the FemMed for COG testing.

From the GOGirl website:

“Simply put, GoGirl is the way to stand up to crowded, disgusting, distant or non-existent bathrooms. It’s a female urination device (sometimes called a FUD) that allows you to urinate while standing up. It’s neat. It’s discreet. It’s hygienic.”

“FUD” is of Euro origin COG reckons.

Patricia’s first response: “I’ve tried this kinda of thing years ago. The plastic was too hard, too small and you couldn’t aim it.”

Well, twenty-plus-years’ materials-science advancement changed our GOG gal’s mind.

“Amazing,” was Patricia’s first report. “I stood in the shower, assumed the upright stance and let go. No overflow, no problems hitting the target [i.e., GoGirl’s reservoir], no problems managing at all. Using this thing with hiking-up a skirt or dress: no brainer. I can’t wait to try it with jeans.”

Conscious of our own shoes under similar circumstances, the COG guys queried, “did you have to stand with your feet apart, particularly.”

“Nope. That tube’s really flexible; you can aim wherever you want.”

Which remark had the COG guys checking their hydrodynamics textbooks for liquid flow-rates in relation to the GOGirl’s “reservoir” volume. Without going into detail here, it would seem the GoGirl’s architecture projects fluid-volume more advantageously than male’s corresponding plumbing. We’re taking our female testers word on this: COG will not perform side-by-side testing.

Very flexible, germ-resistant, class VI medical grade silicone fabrication seems key here along with catenary-cut design of the reservoir’s downward-facing inner edge. The generous, ovoid-shaped upper opening should more than accommodate any anatomy, according to COG’s tester. Apparently, the “seal” is foolproof.

Now as a sporting sort (riding, climbing, running, diving, paddle-boarding, parasailing…), Patricia’s not given to floppy trousers. So she set about how to work the GoGirl with tight jeans.

Her words:

“I stood with my skinny jeans just below my hips: just enough room to get the ‘spout’ over the zipper opening. Feet [were] about the width of the toilet. I was afraid I’d ‘miss’ with my knees barely bent, but I had no trouble hitting the bowl. Standing up: no leakage whatsoever.”


“With a GoGirl, I’ll never squat again. Anywhere. Especially those creepy Left Bank restaurants.”

Now about GoGirl’s medical grade silicone, 12” extension tube. We think this is intended for use with bedridden or convalescent patients. Our COG gal mused, “I think this might work in a tent with a pee-bottle!”  COG’ll take her word on that.

GoGirl’s designed by a female oral surgeon and a medical device expert. Launched for consumers at the Minneapolis Women’s Expo on Jan. 16, 2009, GoGirl went big at retail, July 2013, Outdoor Retailer.

GoGirl by FemMed Inc.
 lists GoGirl’s price as $9.99 and $12.99 each; three-pack at $26.97 and $34.97. Pricing differentials might reflect initial offering and big retail release dates.

$13 / go-girl

Going Places (Original French title, Les Valseuses )
A novel by Bertrand Blier, Lippincott & Co., 1972.
Film directed by Bertrand Blier, 1974.

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